Dating With a Disability

Oh man… I’m not very excited to write this, but I need to get it out there. You ever have a thought or a concept for a blog post that eats away at you until you share it? That’s how I’ve been feeling.

So a little background since it’s been a while from when I last wrote about my disability/health/lifestyle/my normal. In October of 2017 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, which has a long list of symptoms with it, but mainly chronic pain. I walk with a cane when I’m outside of my house, and sometimes use a scooter.

Two months ago, I became single for the first time in six years. Tinder wasn’t even a thing yet 6 years ago. Well, I’ve decided it’s time for me to get out there and meet new people, and what better way to do that for someone who can’t get out much than Tinder?

I have now gone on two first dates. The first one I was a nervous reck. I don’t know when to tell someone I have a disability, what is it, how it limits me, and that I walk with a cane.

I don’t want my disability to be all that they see. I don’t want to scare them off, either. I decided during our talk I’ll just off handedly mention I have chronic pain and see how it goes. It was received so casually that I thought that he didn’t hear me so I mentioned it again with the same reaction.

The second first date I mentioned it right away when we were still talking on the app and they still wanted to meet me in person! I was kind of surprised by that, to be frank. Before fibro I worked so hard on my confidence and loving myself and now I feel like I’m back at square one having to meet new people that may want to be with me. I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship yet, but can’t I have a little fun?

I’m finding that when I mention it, people still show interest in me and if they don’t my feelings aren’t hurt for which I’m relieved. The former happens more than the latter. I’ve decided that it’s best to mention it early for when I do meet them it’s easier to explain that it has been earlier in the day because in the evenings I’m in my most amount of pain and I have a very weird diet that I have to go by or I’ll be sick and/or be in more pain.

It’s still very early on in my experience and I’m learning a lot. If you have dating experience with a disability I would love some advice.

As always, thanks for reading!


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